Toothless

Yesterday Shelly lost two teeth in one day.

She was overwhelmed by it all.

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

So she did both.

The tooth fairy came last night and left money and a couple of little gifts.

Four teeth out before Kindergarten begins.

Ups and Downs

Do my blog posts seem a bit erratic? They seem to match my constantly changing mood of late. One day I am moving forward and living life (rather slowly and not so competently, but living nonetheless) and the next day I am flooded with emotions. Yesterday and today seem to be days where I am caught up in thoughts of my mom. I dream about her and I think of the many memories I have of her.

I'm not too sure why people come to read/look at my blog. Are they looking for new pictures and updates or, like me, are they searching for memories to make the here and now make more sense? Whatever the reason, I attempt to mesh those two worlds together. So, if some days I appear to be moving forward---I may actually be doing that. But other posts might be about my deep loss and grief. Hard to explain how to live within these worlds---the every day life and the grief stricken life, but I guess I am just trying to keep it all real and figure it out for me.

A couple of photos of my mom---one with me in 1997 and another with my dad on the day that I married John:

Summer Crafting

During the summer, I like to create some arts and craft time for the girls. This summer we put together our tray of craft supplies, again. When the urge overtakes them they can sit down and create a drawing using crayons, markers, glue, scissors, foam pieces, stencils, and stickers. You never know what they'll come up with during this free art time.

Some days I try to come up with an actual activity with them. Some of the things we have tried are:

Perler beads (fusion beads)---these are a great craft to help with fine motor skills. They also encourage the development of patterns and can help children with counting and colors. The girls and I really enjoy the perler beads. It's amazing the amount of time that the beads can fill when you are looking for some quiet creative art time. I usually use my Michael's 40% off coupons to purchase the beads and just the other day I got a huge bin of them at IKEA for $5.99.

Craft kits---I also like finding various craft kits already assembled. We've bought kits for door hangers, frames, mirrors...you name it. These are easy and inexpensive.

Fabric Crayons---For years I have been using Crayola fabric crayons with kids. You create a fun design/word and print it in flipped mode. Then the kids color the design with the fabric crayons. Tip for the use of the crayons-be sure to press down hard when using them for the best effect. Then iron the design on to the Hanes $1 t-shirt from the Dollar Tree for a fun new summer top that's unique to your child.

Scrapbooks---This summer I am putting my MANY scrapbooking items to good use. At Target I purchased a pack of photo albums. The larger album holds 4--4x6 photos on each page. I have been printing out pictures from our summer activities and then I arrange them in the album...usually 2 or 3 per double page. The girls then decorate the 4x6 card inserts with information about the photos and various scrapbooking items. It's a fun way to document their summer, as well as, learn some scrapbooking techniques in an organized fashion.

Finally, I am following this fun site for more ideas in the world of art. Love the variety of art supplies she uses to create fun projects.

What's on My Screen

Just amused at the various screens I see during my day on my computer:

My email---

My Bloglines Feeds---

My Scramble game on Facebook---

A favorite cooking site---

Funny

My mom had a great sense of humor. When I saw this photo of her a couple of weeks ago it made me smile. I came home, scanned it, and have thought about it many times since I first saw it.

Mainly, I think of it at times when I am feeling her loss the most. It reminds me of her. The funny side of her, the way she laughed, and the great little sarcastic comments she would make.

I know I have said this many, many times, but I really miss my mom. To be honest, there are times when I feel that the loss of my mother is greater than anyone else has ever experienced. It sounds egotistical to think that way, but if you knew my mom, you'd understand how important she was to so many people. That is a rare gift...to be needed and loved by so many.

Her loss is overwhelming to me, but her love and laughter live on in my head and in my heart. Thanks for being funny, mom.

A Drive

On Saturday afternoon, we packed up a picnic and headed north to Smith Mountain Lake in Virginia. It was such a beautiful day and we had a great time driving around the lake looking at the rental properties. We stopped at the state park and enjoyed our picnic supper while sitting right next to the lake. It was a perfect spot to watch the boaters, jet skiers, and tubers heading past us. A perfect little break from the every day life in NC.

A digiscrap of our day with photos taken on the iPhone:

Random Topics

Random Topics:

• I miss so many things about my mom. One of the things I think of often is the ability to get her advice on topics. I miss that so much and relied on her words of wisdom frequently.

• Our family is in desperate need of sleep. Hope this changes soon.

• Thinking of Sylvia and hoping that she is feeling stronger and better each day.

• I can't believe it is already July 19th. That means that school begins in 5ish weeks. Too soon.

• Looking forward to a visit from my sister and kids soon.

• Enjoying my new FREE bike from Mary and Bestemor. Can't wait to try out the watermelon pink paint on it.

• Did I mention I am tired????

• Making some plans this week to do things the girls have requested.

• Thankful for my husband.

• Played around with some feature on the camera and this was the result...a collage of action shots.

• So glad that my dad made his trip to PA safely and hoping he is enjoying himself.

By the Pool

The second summer of having our pool and it's still fun!

Pictures & Memories

I sat for a few hours while at my dad's house last week and went through MANY photo boxes filled with pictures. There were memories galore in those boxes and I loved laughing and crying while I flipped through the pictures. A few of the pictures made me smile and I knew I had to scan them and put them on my blog.

My great grandfather, Harry R. Dieffenderfer, who lived to be 100 years old. Here he is with his dog Sally and I loved the captions he wrote on the back of the pictures.

A cute little picture of Lily wearing a sweater that my mother knit for her. Loved her little pursed lips in this picture:

A super cute picture of my dad in Pennsylvania snow in November of 1934. He was a year and a half in this picture:

A Few of My Favorite People

We recently were in Virginia Beach and got to see lots of our family. We love being there with them and miss them all so much when we have to go. Here are some pictures of the girls with my dad and my sis. We miss you guys!!!

We are also sending lots of love and prayers to Bestemor. Thinking of you each day and hoping that you will have an easy recovery once you're home. Take care.

Jet Skiing and Parasailing

We had some fun on the water today. John and I went parasailing over the Atlantic Ocean and then John and Lily went for a whirl on a jet ski. It was a great time. Thanks Uncle Pat!

My Girls

I love them with all my heart.
More than they will ever know.
They make me laugh and they make me cry...harder than anyone else.
So happy they are mine.

Celebrating the 4th

Yesterday we celebrated the 4th of July with our annual trek to the Kinney's house for the big party!!! Here are the gracious hostess and host---Tracy and Bret.

Shelly with her face paint and jazzy hair clips! Our cart this morning after a rough night! It was decorated for the parade.

Little patriotic girls

The girls on the back of our neighbor's cart during the parade.

The carts lined up and ready to parade.

The three-legged race for apple bobbing.


Party people

A little video of the parade starting!

Happy

There are many things that made my mom happy. Her grandchildren were a big part of that happiness. So when I saw these pictures of her with Krissy and Eric and the one of her laughing with Kaitlin on her lap I knew I needed to post the photos. Love seeing her smile.

I vividly remember the night in December of 1982 when my mom and Aunt Sue got up and performed the jitterbug for us. That is a memory I am so thrilled I captured in a photo.

I added this picture because I rarely remember seeing my mom in the pool. This was taken the day after my high school graduation party and not long after my parents put in the pool. There's my mom, my dad, and my aunt 25 years ago.

A happy picture of my aunt and my mom on my graduation day. Love their smiles.

As I have continued to grieve and figure out life without my mother, I have spent many days feeling thankful for all of the love my mother gave me. I will be forever grateful to her for showing me how to love and how to be happy. I just wish I could hear your laugh one more time. I miss you mom.